What I have Learned from Suffering

Written after reading a devotion in August 2009

There is a lot of suffering in this world. All I need to do is view the current news. Suffering enters my home, my safe haven, via the portals of radio, television, websites, newspapers, and phone calls. Suffering is all around me. If I look, really look, around as I drive to and from work, listen to my co-workers talk or better yet ask my co-workers about what is happening in their lives, I will hear of their suffering. If I listen to the prayer requests made in my various spiritual groups I will hear of suffering. Everyone is touched in some way to some degree with suffering.

I live in a broken world so and long as I am here I will see and experience suffering. My earthly life will never be perfect. Everyone experiences suffering even if one person cannot see the suffering of another. Suffering is relative and the degree cannot be judged by another. What is painful, all consuming, and devastating to one person may not affect another person in the same way. But, suffering brings growth or gripes it is our choice. God can transform the bruises of my suffering into beauty marks.

Suffering causes some people, including me, to seek God. God does not cause suffering, but He can use it to perfect me. I have discovered that suffering does not come alone, blessings come with suffering. Music, scripture, devotionals, books, and Christian brothers and sisters will step up to help. All of these are blessings that God uses to transform the bruises of suffering to beauty marks in my life.

God can transform bruises to beauty marks. Quite often when I am experiencing a season of suffering and feel bruised, praise music will play over and over in my head. I can’t explain it, other than it is the unique way the Holy Spirit applies balm to heal my pain. If I continue to listen carefully to the Holy Spirit, I will hear God speak to me in much of the music I recall. Hymns that I knew as a child will resurface, certain phrases from praise songs or choir anthems of the past will enter my mind again, and new songs I experience will seem to speak directly to me in my need.

God can transform bruises to beauty marks. The scriptures, God’s own love letter to me will become fresh and new again. The verses I have memorized will come to mind. I will read a familiar passage and a new insight will appear. The stories of Jesus will draw me in as a main character. I will know how the crippled man felt when he began to take his first tentative steps, the woman at the well learned about real love, and the demonic possessed man felt when his heart and mind were clear again.

God can transform bruises to beauty marks. My reading outside Bible will speak directly to me. Morning devotionals will have a tread that runs through them connecting my pain to the thoughts of Christian writers. I will learn how another deal with similar situations of suffering and draw strength from theses Christian strangers who are ministering to my soul.

God can transform bruises to beauty marks. The friends who represent the face of Jesus will give good advice, they will cry with me, hurt with me, laugh with me and hug me. The words they say will be insightful, sweet, humbling, and soothing. If I really listen to what they tell me about experiences they have had in suffering, I can learn and draw strength to get me through the next minute, hour, day, week or month. My friendships deepen when I allow someone else to help me in suffering. By not accepting the help they offer, I am stealing the joy they get from doing God’s will and His direction to them to help me. This was a hard lesson for me to learn – to accept help with graciousness. It makes me feel better accepting their help if I follow their help with a note of thankfulness and a prayer for special blessings for them.


God can transform bruises to beauty marks. Satan does not sit around and let all this happen without using my weakened state to damage my soul. The prince of darkness will try to use the suffering to turn me away from God. He will say things like:
“God’s not being fair to you. You try to do His will and he still let’s you suffer.”
“Look at all the time and energy you give to God and where is he when you need him?” “Look at ‘so-and-so’, he is not as good as you, but he is not suffering.”
“What you need is more money, more/better friends, a husband, etc.”
“God must not love you, look how he blesses others; I think he forgot about you.”
But, I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

God is good all the time – even when I suffer. When I let God take control I become almost a spectator in His marvelous plan for my life. God does not expect perfection; He expects progress.

Stewardship

Stewardship testimony give at FBC Thomson - Dec 2001

Mark 14:3-9 Alabaster Jar

Ultimately, good stewardship is not a matter of wise money management or even responsible giving. It is a matter of extravagant love. Breaking this expensive jar and pouring out this even more expensive perfume was an act of worship for this woman. Jesus had given her so much she could not help but worship him.

Evaluating assets and giving them was as unnatural to the first century Christians as it is to us today. That is the whole point. Conversion and commitment to Christ requires a supernatural experience. Private ownership of property was still a part of life, but joyful giving and sharing of this property became the “norm” of supernatural living. The examples Jesus gave us to follow were not about millionaires giving huge amounts of money. It actually was not focused on the money at all. Examples in scripture that we are to emulate are about every day people like you and me:
Widows giving from all they have.
Short tax collector that repents and gives out of his love for Christ.

My own growth in stewardship has paralleled my growth as a disciple. In fact it has propelled it. I have learned more about faith, trust, grace, commitment and God’s provision through stewardship than in other areas of my life.

I cannot claim that I did not know about tithing and giving, after all I was reared on the first pew on the piano side of my church. I had wonderful examples to follow beginning with my parents and extending to other church leaders. The cause of my not being a steward was that I flat did not want to do it. I wanted it all for myself. This was my money. I had to provide the things I wanted and needed. I was selfish.

When Ron and I began our family we decided to tithe. It was not easy it required a different mind set. The money and things that we thought were ours were really God’s. God provided our jobs, God provided our home, God provided our very existence. As Ron’s illness intensified tithing was already a habit for us. I had to take over the family finances and tithing and giving became a way we could thank God for every blessing he provided in such a trying time.

Paul said, “God loves a cheerful giver.” It can be said also, “ A cheerful giver loves God”. The more a cheerfully I gave, the deeper the love and joy. Making wise choices with our money are supreme acts of worship. Giving changed from something I ought to do to something I should do to something I did because I was a Christian to an act of worship.

Here is my challenge to you.
Have you taken in the love Christ has extravagantly poured out for you?
Has it left your heart so filled with gratitude that you can’t help but lavishly pour it out in return?
Is his love transforming your prayer form, “Give me Lord” to “Use me Lord – all that I am and all that I hold dear”?

Grief

This story was first published on the Thomson FBC website in 2001. I hope it continues to help those that grieve the loss of a love.

Many people ask me how can I be so joyful in the face of difficulties. My name is Tinye. I am a member of First Baptist Church in Thomson. I have two sons, a wonderful family, plenty of Christian friends. If you do not know me, you do not see the difficulties, because it is part of God's plan for me to rise above the challenges of life to glorify Him. It is my desire to do just that.

I have the challenges of being a single mother. My late husband Ron was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis several years ago, but his first symptoms began just months after we were married. For the first years we were able to make adjustments to our lifestyle to accommodate his gradual increase in disabilities. During this time we made some decisions about our lives as Christians, parents, and as husband and wife that have helped me in the past few years. For a while I was able to take care of Ron at home, but eventually his needs became so great, that something else had to be done. Ron and I had
discussed what we would do when the time came that he could not longer stay at home. While his mind was still clear, he had made provisions for me to take over the family finances, a job that I did not like to do. He had seen to it that there was disability insurance to help with our expenses and had provided a
notebook for me with all the vital information I would need in case he could no longer take care of us. We also saw our lawyer and made legal decisions that needed to be made for just such a time. We did not try to hide the seriousness of Ron’s illness from the boys. We needed to work as a family and they needed to know how they could help.

At the onset of his disease, we all had questions about why this would happen to us. Ron and I were able to grow in our faith as we realized we could know the Who and not necessarily know the Why. As parents we were able to guide the boys into their relationship with God. We prayed together a lot and discussed scripture we found that strengthened each of us. Ron and I came to the realization that his being healed may not be part of God's plan for our lives. We did however, feel that God had a plan in our lives and our family. We have never felt like we have been forsaken. One promise that Ron and I claimed through out his illness is found in Romans 8:28, "All things work together for good to those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." Ron and I could see the good in his illness. We used this terrible circumstance as a witness to others of the joy and strength that comes only from God. Ron lost his fight with Multiple Sclerosis on February 2, 2000.

We have been blessed with so much because of Ron's illness. We have a wonderful supportive group of Christian friends who have done everything from clean up our yards to stage a womanless wedding to help us with medical expenses. Our families have been there to take up the slack in car-pooling the boys to school and helping me with the care and discipline needed by two boys. Their friends have been there to support them and they have learned to not feel sorry for what they do not have, but to thank God for what they do have.

I have grown in my faith at the times when I really would like to have Ron here to talk over a problem and instead I have to rely on God to help me with a decision only I can make. Instead of sitting back and feeling sorry for myself, I have learned to share my feelings with others and to delve into God's word and
other Christian literature.

I would encourage all couples to appreciate your spouse more. Don't take each other for granted. Prepare for the future financially and legally. Include your children in the circumstances of your family life and show them how they can help. Most of all don't take your ministry as a family for granted. God can use you where you are and will use you if you are available to let any circumstance be used for His
glory; and a "peace that goes beyond human understanding" will be with you, too.